Issues With Adjustment

Skin,

            Soft and subtle

            strong and transparent

            destructible,

                        protected when necessary

                        by removable armor.

Should I adjust or

            Transition?

Bloom?

            Definitely not.

Revise!

           No.   

           Re-Vision myself.

The debriding,

            removing thick, calloused, tough

            fire-proof, bullet proof

            skin,

Leaves me pink

            Exposed

            Shivering

            Sensitive and raw.

Telling myself that maybe

            If I can stop struggling and fighting

and shivering,

           If I can accept rawness

            for now.

I’ll have the energy to grow

            the skin “they” say I should have.

Outwardly, I academically inquire

            into help.

            Who gets to give it?

            Who has to receive?

            The socially constructed boundaries.

The critical lens turns here and shows

            I’m locking out help.

            Yanking hard again

            On my bootstraps.